This isn’t where you thought you would be.

Maybe you’re not sure what you imagined life would look like by now, but you know it’s not this. You’re constantly plagued by images of the past, moments you’d prefer to forget. You’d like nothing more than to move on; live the life you’d always imagined you’d have, but you sometimes wonder if you even deserve that. You’re sense of reality is warped. If it were anyone else, of course they would derserve to feel lighter and more free. You wonder why you can’t give yourself that same compassion.

But what even is trauma?

Trauma can often feel like a big and scary word. But the truth is, it can be the result of a lot of different experiences. In Peter Levine’s work on trauma, he describes that it’s not so much the severity of what was experienced; what actually matters more is the perception of threat and overwhelm in handling it. All this to say that while natural disasters, unexpected loss, and automobile accidents can certainly be traumatic; so can many other situations. Trauma can also result from a series of events such as childhood bullying, neglect, or physical or emotional abuse that have an impact on you as an adult. Can you relate to experiences of getting bullied as a child? Were one or more caretakers emotionally unavailable growing up? Did you have trouble finding safe adults to talk to? Are these experiences still distressing today? Therapy can help.

Trauma is a tricky beast.

It’s left you doubting yourself, wondering if your reality is real. It’s even distorted your thoughts and perceptions about yourself and others. You’ve been living with this pain for far too long. You’ve tried to ignore it for years, but the truth is: what happened to you affects so many layers of your life today. Do you ever wonder why you keep falling for the same type of toxic person? Or maybe you’ve found that your friendships consistently lack authenticity. Do you find it hard to believe in yourself? To show up for yourself? Did you think you were finally okay only to find that memories, sensations, and uncomfortable emotions are resurfacing after years of “feeling fine”? What happened to you might have something to do with it.